We, the undersigned, strongly believe that the people of Australia are one; we shoot, we root, we vote. We want Australia to remain Australian, and not submit to the ever-increasing submission of Australian Culture to American Culture through the curse of Media, Technology and Politics. As Australians, we care for the rights of our mates, of drinking beer and acting like tools; and not for the rights of those who own more than we do.


We, the undersigned, believe that:

*We genuinely do not have a problem with the American people who we believe are misunderstood. We do, however, wish to restrict our efforts of "taking the p!ss" out of our historical enemies at sports that count, i.e. the ones that we always beat them at, for example Rugby, Cricket and Roo Shooting against the Poms, Kiwis and Saffies.
* Australia should not be subject to shithouse American "trendy programming" on Ten or any other network, such as American Idol, The Biggest Loser, American Big Brother; or any such derivative Australian versions of the aforementioned crap;
* Australians should object to the "I am richer than you so respect me" ideals of people or corporations; Sydneysiders take note;
* Are bloody annoyed with Microsoft for insisting that "English (Australian)" is a language that substitiues "z"s for "s"s and unexplicably replaces "re" with "er"

* Refuse to use words such as "Freeway", "Highway", "Mall";
* Refuse to drink half-strength beers out of principle such as Budweiser, or our own local versions such as Fosters (whatever that is) and anything ending in the word Gold;
* Are sick to death of the Subway guy and really crap coffee from Starbucks, both of which genuinely believe they have the right to be on every bloody street in our CBDs;
* In fact - the term CBDs should be outlawed too;
* Domestic flights should ALWAYS serve free alcohol on demand, and not because they're only "internal" flights (a trend started by United and American);
* Are absolutely disgusted that our country refused to ratify Kyoto; (but we have now thanks to SuperKevin24/7) even though we are one of the most environmentally-aware and environmentally-friendly countries in the world;
* Are genuinely jealous (although we wouldn't admit it) of New Zealand's anti-nuclear policy including the refusal of allowing US Navy nuclear-subs anywhere in its waters;
* Believe that The Chaser's intrusion into the APEC Summit Green Zone pretending to be Canadians and dressed as Bin Laden was bloody funny; and cannot understand why 90% of Americans (albeit questioned by Fox) couldn't understand why;
* Are wondering why, if Australia is such a friend of Dubya, why he still refers to it as the OPEC Summit (and he probably still thinks we are a small country next to Switzerland - where in reality we are a suburb of London);
* Are secretly upset that Leila McKinnon moved there as she brightened up the dull Qantas flights when she read the inflight news;
* Are still campaigning for the protection of Dropbears against being shot as a sport;
* Believe that Rupert Murdoch has sold out;
* Genuinely believe that Phar Lap was murdered;
* Are sick to death of, politically at least, being the 51st, 52nd or 53rd state (we can't remember which we are, as the Poms always want to be closer to the White House)